The Illogical Decison
by LuvTheEars2232
Summary: He leaving,there's nothing that she can do about it. She knew that the inevitable was bound to happen,but she was never be prepared for the after effects. Jim has become the only person that she can confide in, will he prove to be more than just a friend
1. Chapter 1

The Illogical Decision

**If I owned Star Trek or any of its associated merchandise…which I don't, would it honestly be deemed a Fanfiction? Oh, and reviews are appreciated, they help me dare I say it…better myself. This is just the first Chapter so let me know how bad it sucks. Also I have no Beta-Reader any want register their candidacy? ^_-**

"Spock, you do understand that you now have an obligation to your people do you not?" Sarek questioned his son.

"Indeed, I do." Spock bluntly stated.

"And do you realize that you are now a part of an endangered species?" Sarek yet again questioned his son.

"Yes sa-mehk, I am fully aware of that fact."

"Then you should clearly be able to see why it is only logical to release your duties to Starfleet."

"I do, and I will. The captain will be alerted as soon as possible." Spock told his father impassively. Though not completely sure, Spock could have sworn that he saw a flash of relief enter his father's eyes.

"And the human?" Sarek queried raising one eyebrow. The one emotion that always managed to escape him was his curiosity.

"Nyota will…understand." Spock answered trying desperately to hang on to his emotionless demeanor; the thought of losing her was devastating. She was his comfort, his life, his heart. She had been there for him during the destruction of Vulcan, and after the death of his mother.

As stoic as he tried to remain, his eyes would forever act as his betrayer. For some someone who knew him like his mother, or Nyota, would easily be able to tell that he was handling way more than was good for him. There was pain, loss, and a sudden grief that gripped him even tighter within the last minute. And yet without knowing him, no one could tell from the outside looking in that he feeling as deeply as he was. It was the Vulcan way.

"You have made a wise decision my son."

Spock nodded slightly in response. "Thank you father." If it was so wise, then why did he feel so cold?

**So, how was it? The next chapter will be sort of an extension to this one because I didn't want to cram it all on one chapter, it'd be too much. And as of now I have no idea how many chapters there will be. **


	2. Chapter 2

The Illogical Decision

Ch.2

**A/N: If I owned Star Trek or any of its associated merchandise…which I don't, would it honestly be deemed a Fanfiction? Oh, and reviews are appreciated, they help me dare I say it…better myself. Also I have no Beta-Reader any want register their candidacy? ^_-**

It was wrong, and she knew it, yet she couldn't find it in herself to just walk away. The conversation held nothing to do with her, or so she had thought. Was he expecting her to just let it go, to end it, and so easily? Had they not just endured everything together? Had they not just barely escaped with their lives? Had she not been there after the death of his mother? And yet he was ready to leave her so readily, so _willingly._

She couldn't stop the flow of tears, that through everything, she had tried so desperately to hold in. She turned down the empty corridor with silent sobs raking through her body. The click of her regulation boots echoing through the halls, and traveled to the conference room where Spock and his father conversed.

Unaware of the fact there was anyone on the entire level of the ship, Spock was taken by surprise by the familiar sound.

"Father, if you will excuse me." Spock was out of the room before Sarek responded. He exited the room about a second too late. The only thing he was able to see was a glimpse of Nyota's distraught tear-streaked face, as the doors to the turbo lift slid closed. Of all the people aboard the Enterprise, Nyota Uhura had to be the one person to overhear the conversation. Upon seeing the look of sorrow, unsuitable for her beautiful face, he felt a sharp pang of guilt that he was the cause.

Barley making it to her quarters, she ran straight towards the couch. She collapsed there and started to sob, and gave a futile attempt to let it all out through tears. She didn't even notice it when the doors to hers quarters gave that silent swish open.

He hesitated at her door. He didn't know whether he should knock, if he did she'd be too angry to answer, and now it was imperative that he speak with her, and that he explain as best as he could. In the end he just placed his hand on the pad outside her door, and the print was recognized.

He walked into her quarters, the scent of jasmine strong but pleasantly soft and familiar wafted in the air. He waited just a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, and headed in the direction of the couch where he saw her curled with her arms around hers legs and her chin resting on her knees as she cried.

He knelt down by the couch permitting one hand to gently trace circles about her back, in an endeavor to comfort. She continued to cry for the next 4.3 minutes according to his internal calculations, then her tears began to recede they didn't stop, but they receded. She then took a deep breath, and exhaled straightening herself out further. Finally pulling herself together enough to talk, she seized the opportunity.

"When are you leaving?" she asked, hurt clear in her voice.

"Nyota, I believe it would be easier to talk if I were able to see your face." Spock noted avoiding the question.

"Lights 10 percent. Spock, answer the question." The light turned on, not very bright, but just enough to where she could see his face clearly, and so she was sure he'd be able to see hers.

"We arrived at Earth in 6 days, when New Vulcan has finished being scouted and deemed suitable, we will seek the first available transport there. The scouting should take at the least, 2 more months." He stated not daring to look her in the face, even after his request of the light so that he may do so.

"I see, and were you planning on telling me this any time soon, or were you act as though everything was just great, and tell the day that you plan on leaving."

"I assure you Nyota that I fully intended on informing you of my decision as soon I found it necessary."

She shook her head in disbelief. "Like when you assured me that you would never leave me?" Tears began to threaten the rim of her eyes, and she bit her lip to try and hold them back.

"I am sorry, but I have made a commitment to my father, and my species faces extinction. I this instance I must put logic before my emotions. You must understand that under any other circumstance, this would not have been the decision I would have made."

She grabbed his face in her hands and stared at him intently looking, searching for any truth of his words. He hid his emotions well enough to where she could see nothing, so she released his face. The tears threatened again, and this time she did nothing to stop them. They silently cascaded down her face, releasing only some of the pain, that she was filled with.

"Can you forget logic Spock, for once?"She whispered through tears.

"Nyota, I cannot." She sighed.

He didn't want her to cry, but she did, and it was because of him. He reacted to the tears the only way he could, he gently thumbed them away, and cupped the side of her face with his hand. She involuntarily turned her face into the warmth of his palm, realizing that this will be the last time she will be with him like this.

"I must leave, to inform the Captain of my choice to resign my commission to Starfleet." His face softened, as he stood to leave. He looked at her for a moment, as though trying to imprint her face into his mind. He will see her again, but not like this. He wanted the smell of her quarters to forever float about his thoughts.

He stopped at her door to turn and face her; she had her arms wrapped about herself, looking for confidence in something. Once he says goodbye, it will be what marks the end of both of them, of what they had. He took a deep breath, not ready to say it, but it had to be said.

"Mene Saakeht ur-seveh t'nash khio'ri. Taluhk nash dung- kwon-sum veh k'dular, k'hat'n'dlawa." He said as he let his emotions get the best of him.

"Nash-veh vesh' t'ashayam, hi rai-weht." She said coldly. "Sanoi trasha." And so he did, but painfully, he exited her quarters and headed back to his through the cold and empty steel corridors. He knew that she was no longer his, but the pain of her verbally stating it, and so cruelly, caused him to retire to his quarters for the duration of the evening. He believed that if he didn't meditate soon, that he would personally endure the term "falling apart'.

TBC….

**A/N: So, how was it? Any better than the 1****st**** chapter? If so please tell me I'm 13 and I still have a long way to go before I get any better at writing, and yeah I know, my punctuation is dreadful, but oh well. **

**Review + Love= happy me! **

**Translations:**

"**Mene Saakeht ur-seveh t'nash khio'ri. Taluhk nash dung- kwon-sum veh k'dular, k'hat'n'dlawa."= "Live long and prosper my star. I will always cherish thee, half of my heart and soul."**

"**Nash-veh vesh' t'ashayam, hi rai-weht."= " I was belonging to you, but no more"**

"**Sanoi trasha."= "Please leave."**

**Oh and Nyota means 'Star' in Swahili…**


	3. Chapter 3

The Illogical Decision

Ch.3

**A/N: If I owned Star Trek or any of its associated merchandise…which I don't, would it honestly be deemed a Fanfiction? Oh, and reviews are appreciated, they help me dare I say it…better myself. Also I have no Beta-Reader anyone want register their candidacy? ^_-**

She had spent the rest of her night crying herself to sleep, and woke up the next morning with a headache. She didn't want to get up for her shift, and even more so she didn't want to deal with Spock.

She went to the bathroom to examine her face; her hair was a mess, she had purplish bags under her eyes from the crying. There was no way that she was going to the bridge looking this way. She trudged into her small kitchenette and set the replicator for hot water, surely some tea will make her feel better. As soon as the replicator went off she went through the motions of tea making swiftly, she gave little thought to it.

By the time she finished the tea, she felt a little better and her awful headache was gone. So she decided to take a shower, and when came out she felt refreshed, but extraordinarily tired. She threw on a tank top and some underwear, flopped on her bed, and within a matter of minutes she fell into a deep sleep, completely forgetting to call in sick.

It was a quiet and calm day in the bridge. Spock sat quietly going over something on a PADD, Chekov and Sulu were, for once, quietly navigating the ship. Staring at the flashing white streaks of stars on the main screen he was mentally questioning where was, when he noticed his First Officer out of his peripheral vision.

"Captain, a word?"

"Sure Spock, what is it?"

"Perhaps a more private establishment would suitable."

"Okay, Sulu you have the Conn." Kirk called over his shoulder as he left the bridge and headed toward the turbo lift, Spock at his heels.

"Aye, sir." Sulu acknowledged.

In silence they walked to the Senior Officers conference room, slightly nodding in acknowledgment to the passersby's. Once in the room Kirk turned to Spock with an expecting look.

"Cap "

"Spock, you can drop the formal etiquette." Kirk stated cutting him off.

"Jim, I am relinquishing my commission to Starfleet." Spock wasn't one to beat-around-the-bush, and now was no exception.

"What! Why?"

"It is only logical to help in the re-establishment of my people." Spock answered mechanically.

"What about Starfleet? Spock, what about all the time that you've put into being here? What about ", He stopped momentarily, unsure about how to go into Spock private life, "What about Uhura? Hmm, are you just going to let her go for some Vulcan woman that you don't even know?"

"I will have no trouble in alerting Starfleet, even more so I must put my people before myself, by this point you should be aware that my personal accomplishments help nothing therefore it is illogical to bring them up. As for , she understands my responsibility and decisions, though I cannot say that she agrees."

"What the hell Spock, I saw the way she looked at you in the transporter room before we boarded Nero's ship. It was a look of pure love, and even I can say that it's something you don't find often. I can honestly say that you're an idiot for giving it up, and for a group of people who have basically done nothing but shun you since birth. That would explain why she wasn't on bridge wouldn't it?"

"Perhaps." Was all he could say, for if he said anything more, he was afraid that he demeanor would slip, he didn't want to let the Captain to see him in a vulnerable state. Little did Kirk know that he really hit it home, and that pang of guilt and sorrow quickly returned at his words. Spock was somewhat grateful when Kirk stormed out of the room, muttering something along the lines of " _green- blooded, pointy eared….doesn't know a good thing when he's got it…." _

He couldn't believe the nerve that his Firs Officer. Four years, it Kirk four years for Uhura to recognized him as something as side from a dumb country hick. Spock had her attention from day one, and yet he doesn't realize what he had. He shook his head in disbelief_, he's an idiot, _he thought. If he had ever been given the time of day he couldn't even possibly imagine giving her up.

He arrived at her door unsure of how to proceed. Technically he didn't have a reason to be there, what was going on between her and Spock had absolutely nothing to do with him. He was in the midst of thinking when he heard a scream. He punched in his override code. He didn't think then, he just acted. It was dark, and his human eyes didn't quite adjust to it the way Spock's might have. He heard crying, and followed the sound into Uhura's sleeping alcove, the soft lamp light illuminating her. There she was, sitting up-right with her arms wrapped around her knees, she was crying. Never in all his years of knowing her, had he seen her cry, let alone look so fragile. She had always been a strong woman, and would never allow herself to come of this.

"Uhura?"

Her head snapped up. "Kirk? What are you doing in here?"

"Spock told me about his decision, and I was…worried about you, so I came to check on you." She looked at him skeptically, "I can leave if you want me too…"She shook her head profusely.

"No! Stay."

"Okay, then I'll stay. But only for a little while, I have to go back to the bridge soon." She grabbed his arm, and pulled him to the bed. She needed the some comfort, and he was momentarily the only available choice.

"Lay down with me, please?" He obliged kicking off his boots, and scooting in to the bed with her, she underneath the cover, and he laid on it. She scooted closer to him, and he didn't object, but he wrapped an arm around her waist bring her slightly closer. Never did he think that she would ever even consider a scenario like this, he must have hurt her bad. I was like that for a few minutes; he almost thought that she was asleep, until she broke the silence.

"It's my fault; all of this is my fault. The destruction of Vulcan, the death of his mother, and the reason why he's leaving me." She sadly whispered.

"No, it's not Uhura. How could it possibly be your fault?"

"Do you remember the night before we took the Kobayahshi Maru simulation that you rigged?"

"Yea and you came back from where ever you were earlier than expected so Gaila threw me under her bed. I still can't get over how you could hear me breathing." He replied thinking back to that night.

"I was in the Sensory Lab." She said as though that answered everything.

"What does that have to with anything?" He questioned.

"While I was listening to some of the sub-space transmission tests, I received a distress signal." He didn't say anything, so she continued. "It was from a Klingon sector in space that said that forty of their ships had been destroyed by a Romulans ship. I informed the Commander on duty of the lab, and he told me not to worry about, and it was in a far off sector of space that was irrelevant. After that night I forgot about because of the Kobayashi, I had meant to inform Spock, and I never got around to it." She started to cry again, but all he could do was console, and assure that it was alright, and everything would have eventually happen, and that the inevitable was bound to happen, so that's exactly what he did until the sobs became cries, and the cries began sniffles, and the sniffles evolved into sleep. When he was sure that she was sound asleep he grabbed his boots, placed the PADD with the note on her pillow, and tip-toed out of the room out into the corridor, back to the bridge.

"_I'm sorry that I had to go back to the bridge, but duty calls. I'll come back to check up on you at 0800 Hours. Please, rest, I hope you feel better. Until Later,_

_ Jim _

TBC…

**A/N:****Review + Love= happy me! 3**

**Sorry it took so long to post another Chapter, I have a bit of a problem with consistency…O_o… **


	4. Chapter 4

The Illogical Decision

Ch.4

**A/N: If I owned Star Trek or any of its associated merchandise…which I don't, would it honestly be deemed a Fanfiction? Oh, and reviews are appreciated, they help me dare I say it…better myself. Also I have no Beta-Reader anyone want to register their candidacy? ^_-**

**Nyota**

She hadn't spoken to Spock in over 3 days. Some part of her wanted to go find him, and beg him to stay, and another wanted to try and move on with her life. She still loved him that was for sure, but she didn't know if he cared for her anymore. She knew that there was a point in the relationship that he did, but she had always thought that maybe she was into him more than he was into her. She was reclining on her couch pondering at the thoughts when she heard her door chime. She glanced over her shoulder at the chronometer on the end table, _0807hours. _

"Hello Kirk." She said when she answered the door.

"Hey, I said that I would come and up on you, you look more yourself now."

"I feel little better, thanks for asking," She gave him a small smile, and leaned against the frame of the door.

"Did you eat? Dinner I mean, if you didn't then I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to the mess hall. Remember that if you say no, it will **not** be the first time that you've rejected." He said with a sly smirk.

"I'd love to." There was a look of surprised that ran across his features, but it was soon replaced by smile, and he extended his arm. She hesitated a moment, then tucked her hand into the crook of it and off they went. A t-shirt and jeans would be okay it was only the mess hall, and she was more than happy to leave her lonely quiet quarters where she had spent the whole day wallowing in self-pity.

**Spock**

He decided to eat in the Mess Hall that evening; he deemed it only logical that if he ate in there it would have a positive influence on his work performance, rather than he stay in the now unusually empty confines of his quarters. He was in the middle of eating a bowl of fresh fruit, when he saw Nyota, _**his Nyota**_; enter with his supposed friend Kirk. He could not allow himself to think that way, she was no longer his, and speaking in technicality she was never _**his. **_He knew that Kirk had always been interested in Nyota, but it never occurred to him that he would try more attempts to win her affects so soon.

A small part of his brain told him that it was Nyota, she held no interests in Kirk, but a larger more nagging part questioned the smaller part; What if she doesn't care about him anymore, what if she never did? No, that couldn't be right. She wouldn't have been so unhappy he informed her of his intentions to leave. It could quit possibly be a new formed friendship, could it not? Friends often dined together, did they not? He sat and watched them from the small two person table in the far corner of the large room, his food before long taken out of priority, as they went through the line for their dinner and sat at a another two-person table right directly in Spock's line of vision. He was sure, 95.237642% sure that they could not see him.

He settled for the fact that they were simply friends who decided to part take in dinner that evening; he refused to see it as something more. He watched them as they conversed about things that not even his acute hearing could not pick up. He was slightly irritated that he could not make out their conversation thought he knew it was an invasion on her personal privacy. No, that was not a logical statement; Vulcans do not become 'irritated'. So once again he merely sat and watched as several minutes went by, until some very unpleasant caught his eye. His mind and eyes clouded over in an angry, possessive, blinding torrent.

He touched her, Captain James Tiberius Kirk, just touched _**HIS**_ Nyota! It wasn't an accidental touch, or a friendly touch, or even a momentary touch. No, it was an intimate touch, not touch but more over a caress, one that he had shared with Nyota many times before.

He somewhat helplessly watched as Kirk reached out a hand and very gingery caressed the side of her face, as he showily whispered something untellable to her. He sat there and glared at an oblivious Kirk, surely this would not stand, surely any minute now Nyota would swat his hand away and give him a large piece of her mind. To his utter dismay, she smiled and accepted it. She had _allowed _Kirk to touch her in such an intimate way, was she involved with Kirk? Absolutely not, was the first thought that came to mind. But looking deeper into things, it had been precisely 4 days, 15 hours, 45 seconds, and now 18 seconds since he had what Terrans referred to as, 'Broken up with her'. It was in fact quite possible that Nyota had formed an emotional bon-…attachment to someone else.

**Nyota**

He reached across the small distance of the table that separated them, and caressed the side of her face. She didn't pull away, after a little over four days of no physical contact she wasn't about to pull away, it was comforting.

"Just know that you always have me to talk to, okay?" There was sentiment there for sure, and she rewarded him with a smile, the first genuine smile that she had smiled since Spock broke-up with her, this one actually reached her eyes.

"Yeah I know, thanks Jim." He gave a smile that lit up his icy blue eyes.

"Hey, you called me Jim!" She chuckled softly, and then got slightly serious again.

"You earned it, you're a good friend. Come on let's get go." They both got up to exit the Mess Hall the same way they came in, her hand tucked into the crook of his elbow. He took her back to her quarters in a friendly quiet. Once there he decided to try his luck, he knew the negative possibilities, and he knew the little possibility of a positive outcome, but decided to try his luck none the less. She turned to walk into her quarters, and her foot barley crossed the threshold when he gently grabbed her arm, and leaned in to kiss her. He did it thoroughly, and kissed her as thought his very life depended on it. She was surprised, but again didn't pull away; rather she wrapped her arms around his neck to deepen it. When it ended, she could barely think straight. He smirked arrogantly admiring his handy work, and relieved that she didn't pull away, or kill him.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow, I expect to see you on the bridge." He questioned, and she merely nodded, still under the daze of the kiss. He turned and headed down the hallway, as she slid into her quarters. Both completely oblivious to Spock, who stood around the corner and had witnessed the whole thing. He took deep breathes to steady himself, as he clenched and unclenched his hands, the thought of killing Kirk had ran across his mind several times. His suspicions were now confirmed, Nyota, _**HIS **_Nyota, was involved with Kirk, and he was NOT happy about it.

**Posted as soon as I could get it up and out. If you read, will you PLEASE Review? Luv ya always,**

** LuvTheEars2232**


	5. Chapter 5

The Illogical Decision

Ch. 5

**A/N: If I owned Star Trek or any of its associated merchandise…which I don't, would it honestly be deemed a Fanfiction? Oh, and reviews are appreciated, even if you're telling me how horrible of a writer I am, they make me write faster…**

**Nyota**

There was to be a gala held to commemorate those had fallen during what was now referred to as _The Battle of Vulcan_. It was also being held to insure that previous cadets graduated, got assigned to a Starship, and were able to keep the title that they had earned during the battle. She knew that she didn't have to have a date to be able to go, but since she wasn't with Spock anymore, she felt as though she _needed_ one.

To her luck Kirk had asked her the day before the gala, during one of their nightly walks around the campus. She and Kirk had become very well acquainted over the week that they had been in San Francisco. Kirk didn't seem like the Kirk that he was before the battle, he seemed much more mature, and she thought that she would never live to see the day. He wasn't the loud, obnoxious, and womanizing man that he had been during their days at the Academy, before the battle.

She did miss Spock, actually she missed him terribly, but he ended it. That meant that he didn't want her any more right? She was probably just too human for him, too emotional, just too _illogical_. He needs a Vulcan woman, someone who is logical. It hurt to think about him with another woman, to know that they would plan to have children together. The good thing is that he still had his instructor's quarters on the **other** side of the campus, so she very rarely saw him. She didn't know what she would at the gala, for it was definite that he would be there, as well as it was mandatory.

She finished her hair that was elegantly tied into a high bun, and intricately laced in accessories; she had let a lightly curled strand stay out of place for effect. She stood up from the stool in front of the vanity and walked over to the full length mirror that hung on the front of her closet door. She turned this way and that so she could thoroughly examined the design of the dress, it was long black satin and flowing, though it had no back and was strapless, it was very modest, which suited her very well. It hugged her curvaceous body just perfectly, as well as it showed skin in all the right places without appearing cheap.

Gaila had given her a dress for her last birth day present, and never did she think that she would have reason to wear the extravagant dress. Gaila had been her best friend as well as roommate for the past four years, when the Battle of Vulcan began she was assigned to the _U.S.S. Farragut _just as Nyota had been. She was so excited about being assigned, that the last thing Nyota remembers is Gaila jumping excitedly with a wide white grin, and her bright orange curls bouncing about her head. Though it was the last mental picture of Gaila, there were always memories that she could hold on to.

She was sitting on the edge of her bed putting on her matching heels when the door chime went off, and she knew it had to be Jim. She grabbed her little black purse and shawl, then headed to the door. When she opened it she was as awestruck as he was speechless. Her eyes took him in as his eyes roamed her body from head to toe lingering on her lips longer than anything. He wanted to kiss her again, he wanted to feel the soft warmth of her lips on his, but he wasn't sure if she would be upset.

Jim was in an Italian suit, one from which she had no idea where he came to acquire. The suit was of a black color that matched her dress, and accentuated his eyes. As much as she hated to admit it, his eyes always had a very strange effect on her; they appeared like an endless blue of the sea. If it weren't for the fact that she has always been keen on her concentration, she was sure that she could easily be hypnotized by them. She realized that they had been staring at each other for a while before she finally spoke.

"Wow Jim, I didn't you cleaned up so nicely. You look good." She said look him up and down once more.

"Thanks Uhura, I think I'm going have to file that compliment away, it's not often that I get one." Jim said with small smirk.

"Shall we be leaving now?" She asked somewhat playfully.

"We most certainly shall." As they did they first time they went to the mess hall together, she tucked her now perfectly manicured hand into the waiting crook of his elbow. She sighed when she did; something about the gesture just didn't feel right. As soon as she did, they were off to the gala.

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**Spock**

Long and thorough amounts of meditation are what helped Spock through the following two days of being on the bridge with a very arrogant Kirk. As much as the captain was his friend, the fact that he had kissed Nyota made him view Kirk as the enemy somewhat. Every primal instinct made Spock want to rip Kirk from being anywhere within a 100ft radius of Nyota, but he could not. She was no longer his, yet something, a very illogical something made him believe she still was. Seeing Kirk with her did nothing but flames to the fire.

As much as he didn't see need to his presence at the

Gala, it was enforced by Admiral Pike as well as Captain Kirk. What he would not enjoy is the amount people that would eventually lead to the inevitability of attention, something he was never fond of. Something acceptable that would come out of this was the fact that Nyota would be attending as well. He had not seen her for the past 2days, 11 hours, and 15 seconds but through blurry peripheral glances as they passed by one another on rare occasions. It was almost as if she had been avoiding him, but why?

He took one final look at himself, making sure that everything was impeccable, and not a single was out of place, nor a bit of lint visible anywhere to his or the average human eyes. He turned and headed out the door, it would take him precisely 10 minutes to reach the building where the gala was to be held.

When Spock arrived, he was minutely surprised at how immaculately elegant the design was. The color scheme was of a gold looking color, and yellow lights. There were an adequate amount of people though he was sure that most people would not arrive until after about another half-hour.

He was surprisingly enjoying his self as he conversed with some of his former colleagues; they stood and talked about numerous topics that held his interest. He looked towards the double doors of the entrance for some odd reason, as illogical as it sounds some invisible power all but forced his eyes in that direction. Within two seconds of doing so, he felt as though that breath had removed from his being. Nyota had walked in, and never in his life had he seen her dressed so she was absolutely beautiful, of course she always was, but the dress that she wore was made almost specifically for her, and never had he wanted, no, craved her presence by his side.

He had been staring at Nyota for less than a minute before he noticed that she had come with someone, he felt his fingers twitched infinitesimally as he recognized who it was. He glared keenly at _Captain_ Kirk's hand that resided on the small of her back, almost as though he was showing claim to her. Spock internally growled at the thought of Kirk claiming Nyota for his own.

He watched as her beautiful bright brown eyes scanned the room and came to him. They locked eyes for a moment before she broke the eye contact. He suppressed a sigh, and continued to watch as she and Kirk grabbed a glass of champagne from a waiter that was passing by. Kirk was still walking around smiling because he knew full well that he had the most beautiful in Starfleet, and quite possibly the entire universe, on his arm.

Spock tried to not pay attention to them as they walked about the, but it was definitely a test of his control. After the list of names were called and commemorated, there was a graduation of all cadets that had to do with the Battle of Vulcan. Nyota went up on the stage to receive her certificate that verified she was the Chief Communications Officer of the U.S.S Enterprise; he slightly frowned as she practically ran off the stage and hugged the Captain as she smiled excitedly. That was supposed to be him that she had hugged.

After everyone had received their earnings, soft slow music began to play. Spock walked over to the bar to avoid any possibility of having to dance with someone. In all the years since he has been on earth, he has never enjoyed dancing, never saw reason to dance that close to another person, he saw it as unnecessary contact. For some reason, the fact Nyota had always tremendously enjoyed dancing escaped him completely. He silently watched from the bar stool as Kirk whispered something in Nyota's ear, and her face instantly lit up.

They walked onto the minutely occupied dance floor, and began to slow dance. It felt like slow torture to have to sit and watch as Kirk pulled Nyota slower to his person than Spock would have liked, and have Nyota wrap her arms around a man other than him, even more so, have to suppress the urge to remove the taunting smirk that he was unconsciously giving Spock.

Spock practically glared at Kirk, and growled when he saw his hand come to rest at the small of Nyota's back. Somewhat self-consciously Spock glanced to see if anyone had happened to hear the animalistic sound that had emitted from the confines of his mouth. Spock then stood up and straightened and brushed off his already impeccable suit, he started make his way toward the exit stealing once last glance at Nyota. She really was the essence of beauty, and she was once his, had he believed in perfection she would it, even now she almost make him believe.

Kirk now had Nyota, and that thought allow made him pick up his pace back to his quarters, if he was to stay and watch her with him any longer, things would have gotten very ugly very fast.

Once inside the confines of his quarters, Spock removed his gala attire and replaced them just as quickly with his meditation robes. He set up his fire pot, lit the incense, and sat on a pillow as his thoughts whirled about in the normally organized head of his. Kirk and Nyota…Nyota and Kirk…No Nyota was his, not Jim's, not anyone else's but his, and you _always_ claim what's yours.

"Dungi nash-veh ma tu-pla', dungi glator du k'dawa." He whispered into the darkness that was only licked on occasion by the flickering of the fire pot. "Dung glator du…"

**A/N: Translations: "Dungi nash-veh ma tu-pla', dungi glator du k'dawa."= "I will have you back, you shall see beloved."**

"**Dung glator du…"= "You shall see…"**

**Sorry it took sooooo long for me to post another chapter, I know how it feels when you really wanna read something and the author takes forever. I'm so sorry. As much as I, don't want to give you excuse I feel that mine are adequate reasons, I'm a freshman just getting used to High School, all the homework and the grouchy teachers that don't really want to be where they are. I'm also in Theater so I'm at rehearsal from the end of school all the way til' 7:00 p.m and I didn't even get my house chores and homework done. The only time I have to write, is when I can squeeze it in my schedule. I hope you don't find this chapter to bad. I didn't give it my all I will admit, but I hope to do better in the future. Live long and Prosper…**

**-LuvTheEars2232;P**


	6. Chapter 6

The Illogical Decison

Ch.6

**A/N: Hey you guys!*laughs nervously*...Sorry I haven't updated in what seems like forever, and when I do, it seems as though there is always a reason. I'm sorry, 20% of the reason I didn't update is because I was being lazy, 10% is because I was having stress issues, and due to the stress about 35% was severe righters block, I couldn't think straight, and the other 35% was because I moved away from the place where, for a year and a half, I spent the best days of my life... DISCLAIMER:I don't own the playground, I just play in it.**

Nyota

She couldn't even begin to describe what it felt when she was awarded a certificate that verfied that she was the _**Chief **_Communications Officer aboard the Enterprise. All her years of steady hard work had finally paid off, she was filled with so much happiness, and excitement, that she all but flew off the stage and hugged the first person she came in contacat with. That person, coincidently, was Jim.

"Whoa there, how about you use some of that energy to dance with me?" Jim asked. Nyota's smile, if at all possible, seemed to stretch even wider. She nodded, and he took her hand, and led her to dance floor that was hardly even occupied. Jim pulled Nyota against him, and she flushed. She actually liked the feeling more than she probably should have. She wrapped her arms around his neck, as they began to sway to the soft melody of the music.

"I never knew you danced, well, like this anyway." She said quitely.

"You never would give the time of day. I know I've asked you what like a million times already, down at Stargaze." He replied.

"Yeah, after seeing you, quote on quote, dance with every other thing that had a vagina in the place, no thanks. You were practically having sex on the dance floor."

"It wasn't as bad as you make it out to be." He argued.

"Uh, yeah it was." She smirked. They danced in silence a little while longer, slowly, but surley Jim's hands that had previously resided on her hips, were creeping to the small of her back. She looked him dead in the eye, he had a playful twinkle in his. She shook her head, but smiled anyway. "A dance is a dance Jim. Don't get ahead of yourself. If you think your gonna get lucky, forget it."

"Thinking and doing are two completely different things." He commented with a smirk.

"Jim-" She warned.

"I'm just messing you. I wouldn't do that to you. Well, unless asked..." His voice trailed.

"Which, I never will."

"You say that now."

"I say that now, and for the near future."

"Just the _near_ future?" He asked mischeviously.

"Jim-"

"Okay,okay,okay. You know, when put it that way, you make it sound as though you plan on attending more..._outings_ with me."

"I may, it depends on how well you behave yourself." She said, somewhat surprised at her own self.

"That could be arranged." They continued to dance in silence for the remander of the song, and somewhere during that time, Nyota had come to allow her head rest on his chest. She was unsure of how that move had gone unnoticed by such a person as Jim Kirk, but she was grateful that he hadn't commented on it. The song ended. "What do you say we blow the rest of this joint?"

"I'm ready to leave when you are." She was more than ready, the heels she was wearing, where killing her feet, they were strictly for function, not fashion. As soon she said this, he took her hand, and they expertly weaved their way throught the growing cround of people. When they reached outside, they were tightly embraced by the chill of the San Francisco night. As the two walked in silence, the sharp click of Nyota's heel could be heard in the tranquil night. She was freezing, and incidently, she had forgotten to bring a shawl, or a jacket... it wasn't that cold when she had left. Just when Nyota began to suffer in silence, she felt the semi-warmth of cloth on her skin. She glanced down to see Jim's suit jacket, and looked up at Jim, he had his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Jim, you'll freeze!" She exclaimed.

"I'm okay, we're almost at the apartment." He said nodding toward the old brick building that housed the female cadets. Nyota sighed and continued to walk. Nyota keyed in her access code when they reached the entrance of the building, the door buzzed to inform her that it was unlocked for the time being, she turned back around to face Jim.

"Do you want to come in for a drink? And when I say 'Do you want to', I mean that you have to. I still feel bad about the jacket thing, and I want you warm up a little before heading back to your dorm. I have no idea why I am starting to babble..." she trailed off in agitation with herself. She sighed shook her head, squared her shoulders, and stared him dead in the eye. "Come in for a drink?" she asked a little softer.

"One drink wouldn't hurt." And so it was that he followed her into the building, and into her dorm room. She opened the door, and he follwed suit, she went into the small kitchenette and he just stood in the center of the room, hands still confinded to his pockets. As his eyes scanned the room, it also bring back thoughts, the last time he was here, Nyota had all but literally kicked him out of the room. He found himself chuckling, as Nyota came back with two glasses of a light light blue liquid.

"What are you laughing about Jim?" She smirked as she handed him one of the glasses of Bajoran Spring wine.

"Nothing important." He said taking the glass.

"Computer, Moonlight Sonata," She said before taking a sip of the wine. Immediatley the room was filled with the sounds of one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever composed. "I hope you don't mind Beetoven." She took a seat on the small armchair in the corner of the living area. "You can sit if can get pass the mess, sorry about that, it's been this way since before Gaila...Uhhh, left. I haven't had the heart to clean it up."

"It's not too bad, I'd love to live here compared to my old dorm." He threw a shirt off the couch before sitting adjacent to Nyota. They drank their wine in companionable silence for a few moments before Nyota groaned, and sat her glass on the small end table. Jim frowned, and his brow creased in concern.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

She smiled somewhat sheepishly, "These shoes will be the death of me! But it's what I get for putting fashion over function." She began to unstrap the buckle of her black heel when the shoe was taken off for her. She stopped. Jim started to unbuckle the other very gingerly, almost as if her foot was spun of delicate glass.

"Oh no Jim, you don't have to do that." she said quickly, pulling her foot out of his grasp. He held it gently, but firmly in place with one hand as he used the other to remove the rest of the shoe.

"No,I don't have to, but I want to." She didn't have the energy to fight him, and her feet did hurt pretty badly. Nyota let her muscles relax as she gave up and reclined back into the very nearly purred in pure delight when he began to massage her feet, his thumbes expertly kneeding the delicate structure. Jim smirked when he saw her reaction, and did his damnedest to do his best. As her feet were being taken care of, started thinking about Gaila again. She sighed.

"Gods I miss Gaila." She said her eyes closed. Jim momentarily stopped his minstrations when he heard her, and smiled sadly.

"So do I." he said. "She was always such a happy person."

"And sometimes a little too happy, but she was a great friend, my best friend. Very easy to get along with, so outgoing, and down-to-earth." Nyota was now reminiscing about her bubbly green Orion friend.

"She was, once you got past the bay of pheromones." He added playfully, Nyota smiled, but then became serious again.

"It's so weird, coming to the dorm, and having it so empty. No loud laughter, that used to drive me insane, no smells of the cheap cologne that the countless number of guys she brought home wore. Nothing."

"Bones was the same way about me bringing woman after woman back to our dorm."

"Why is it exactley, that you always call Len, Bones?" She asked prying the subject away from Gaila, so not to get too distraught by the situation.

"On the day that I met him, he was ranting and raving on about how much he hates Space, goin so much that he almost had me a little spooked when he started talking about Solar Flare, and bleeding eyeballs..." He shivered in mock fright.

"Did he not know that Starfleets operates in Space?" Nyota asked.

"That's what I told him, and his reply was that he had nowhere else to go, and that his ex-wife took the whole damn planet in his divorce, and that all he had left was his bones. The name just stuck, I don't know, it was like it fit, and it grew on him." Jim stood up from where he was kneeling on the floor, and held out a hand. Nyota grabbed it, and he pulled her up. "Care for another dance?"

Nyota smiled, "Well, since we're already standing..." As he did before at the gala, Jim pulled Nyota to his person, but unlike at the gala, he pulled her closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck, as his arms went around her waist. They danced in silence, a rather comforting one, as the music continued in its soft melodic sounds. It didn't take long for Nyota to immerse, and lose herself in the enchanting sound, her eyes closed and they swayed in unison. Jim stared down at Nyota, and was amazed, as he always was.

She was beautiful, angelic if you must, her was perfectly portioned, smooth cocoa skin, blemish free, full plush lips, chocolate brown eyes, long mahogany hair, perfection if he ever saw it. Then gravity was working it's way against him, or for him, he couldn't tell, in only a matter of moments, he had leaned down, and kissed her. She was slightly surprised, but didn't pull away, she leaned in and kissed him back, differently than before, this kiss was more urgent than the other. He gently prodded, with his tongue, to the entrance of her mouth, and she conceded. Their tongues danced in unison to a dance that wasn't yet learned, but was yearning to be so. Jim deepened the kiss the kiss even more if it was possible, and Nyota moaned, driving him more.

Their kissing had long sailed from the bay of innocence, and turned into lust when Nyota felt the back of her knees connect with the foot of her bed. Jim ripped his shirt off before she was placed on the bed beneath him. She took a moment to aknowledge the fact that he was satifyingly fit. Then he was on her again, kissing her forehead, her nose, her mouth, lingering there for the delicious taste of raspberries, on that spot just below her her, down the long swan like length of her neck, and back again.

Nyota sat up to allow the zipper on the back of her dress to release, and allowed for Jim to remove the dress all together. His eyes widened at the sight of her in the black lace that she had decided to wear that night. His fingers lightly traced down the length of her torso, and she shivered, bring his mouth back down to hers. In the heat of the moment niether person noticed that the doors to the quarters had opened. When they seperated for air, they did take notice of a figure standing in at the foot of Gaila's old bed. Nyota, both surprised and a little frightned, jumped out of bed with such speed that Jim followed suit.

Spock stood, glaring at Kirk, his eyes blazing, his chest heavly rising up and down, fists compacted and clenched tighltly at his sides, his nostrils flared, he looked angry, more than angry, he look out right pissed the fuck off. If looks could kill, Jim would have combusted where he stood.

"Why are you here?" Spock questioned through clenched teeth.

Jim wasn't exactley in the happiest of moods, considering how spock wrecked his mojo. "I think that question would be better answered by you." he bit back. Nyota, noticing a pissing contest when she saw one, waved Jim off. She was upset too, what right did Spock have just barging into her quarters like he did? But she was also afraid for Jim's saftey.

She put a comforting hand of Jim's arm. "Maybe it's best if you leave, before this turns bad." He looked at Spock, and then Nyota.

"Leave you with him? How about hell no?"

"Jim, he's not going to hurt me." She said.

"I assure you _Captain,_" Spock said the name as though it tasted like vingar coming out of his mouth, "that no harm will come to Nyota while she is in my presence."

Jim snorted."Are you so sure about that? I mean, isn't that kinda why she was with me in the first place?" Spock just about lost it at that comment, but Nyota jumped between them still clad in only her black lace underwear. She turned towards Jim.

"Don't be an ass Jim. Just go, I'll call you tomorrow, and if I don't, you have my permission to call a swat team." Jim stared at her for a moment, and gave her a kiss goodbye on her forehead. He stooped to grab his shirt from the floor, and gave Spock a hard stare before passing into the living area. He was at the threshold of the door, when he turned back around.

"I'll be expecting a call by noon Nyota." With that, he walked out the door, leaving Nyota and Spock alone for the first time since he broke-up with her.

"Nyota, he is allowed to address you as Nyota now?" Even though Jim had taken his leave, the tension still didn't leave he stance. She ignored him and turned to he closet to find something to cover up with. She was satified with thigh-length kimono, she put it on, and tied. Spock, not oblivious to her ignoring him, only became more angry. "You will answer me when I speak to you Nyota!" She spun around sharply, angry that he even thought that he had any right to be upset.

"Fine! You want me to talk? I'll talk alright? But I'll be doing most of it, and I'll be asking the questions! Where the hell do you think you get off entering my quarters unpresidented! Who the fuck do you think you are!" She now stood akimbo, her hands on her hips, with her elbows thrust out.

"It is good that I entered when I did, I dare not think what would have transpired had I not." Spock stated dryly.

"What would have transpired! Spock, why the hell does it matter?In case you hadn't noticed, I am a grown ass woman. I can do whatever the hell I please,and what would have _transpired_ as you so elegantly put it, would have been **none** of your damn business!"

"It would have been an illogical action on your part." He simply stated.

"Illogical my ass. Any decison that I make is a concious one on my part." She said.

"Concious maybe, but logical, far from." He said. Nyota had had it.

"Leave."

"Excuse me?"

"Get the hell out of my quarters."

"Nyota there is still much to discuss."

"Im not in the mood right now Spock, I am pissed off, and not in the best ability to have an adequate discussion. I am tired, and I need to sleep. Leave now and we will talk later." Spock not happy that the evening had not gone according to plan, had no choice but to do as Nyota said if he wanted her to actually pay attention to what he had to say he nodded without another word and exited, planning on contacting her again soon.

TBC...

**Don't hate me...**


End file.
